THE RIGHT THING TO DO (NOT RIGHT FOR ME)

The right thing to do is to let you go

Back to a life that is functional

To something more predictable

Just because you’re so right for me

Just what I need and all I see

Love comes with no guarantee

The right thing to do is to take no risk

to not be swayed by all of this

the easy laughter, that timeless kiss

for just beneath our passion lies

the tingling tenderness that flies

as lightning bolts between our eyes

And some folks say enjoy the ride

but protect that loving heart inside

perhaps the measure of this man

is giving you the best I can

for all I long for is just this -

your everlasting happiness

The right thing to do is to love you more

And leave behind what I adore

Fall back alone just like before

For truly love is sacrifice

And just as true we roll the dice

Hoping love will strike us twice

Before our hearts turn into ice

- September 3, 2015 for BB

Compass Points

NORTH

Magnetic pull
Strong and silent
Comfort in the solace
Of changing seasons.
Ritual
Routine
Stalwart stoicism
Dimpled smile
In the face of daily rigor
Plowing ahead
No instruction
No procrastination
Action
Simplicity
Focus.

SOUTH
Saucy
Sultry moist heat
Pretending to embrace fully
Something guessed at
Yearned for
Glimpsed
Surface grin
Inner fear
Vibrant attachment
To flux
Boundaries fixed
Finagled
Reconfigured
To suit the moment's
Rationale
Exuberant nosedive
Bungee'd back to earth
Loose
Tension.
Dream
Nightmare
Passing eye's blink
Smile's coaxing turn.

EAST
Balanced
Tactile
In her moment
Reaching out
To bring together
Connect
The open space
Between us all
By being herself
Working at it
Living it
Courting it
Seducing self
For others
Now from then
Feeling her power
Deeply
Stirringly
Endearingly
Valiantly.

WEST
A magnificent wreck
of strength
Fortitude
Will
Focus
Motion.
She is not the moon
But the weight of its pull
On the tides.
Mysteriously
Forthright
Deliciously confused
And loving it.
Like me
A conundrum.
Answers not always
Self-applicable
But always
Searching
Seeking
Answers. 

~ written 10/3/06 and published the same day in my blog on MySpace.com/v32unes. Written for four important women in my life through the years. 

ODD MAN IN/OUT

i.
The gentlest of souls
Simple yet complex
Spontaneous choices
Based on practiced self-trust —
To want someone else’s happiness
More than your own
Is dangerous stuff
A slippery trail
To an illusively rewarding summit.
Finally reaching the peak
the view from the top
Can be cloud covered
Socked in
So one must contemplate...
Turn back
Descend...
Sit still
And wait...
In the best
of all worlds
What will be seen,
Invigorating
And disconcerting
Mesmerizing
And polarizing,
May at minimum
Remind us of only
What we have given up
On the climb.
The passing time
Those left behind
The pain in your legs
Spine
Feet
Soul
Reminders of what remains:
The sky
Behind the clouds.

ii.
And sometimes
I want to cry at the sight
Of her
But my smile
Squenches my eyes up
Too tightly to let the tears flow.
Just me.
That infamous
“walking contradiction
partly fact
partly fiction.”
Being me.
Basket case happy
Backpack full of sad.

She reflects me.
We reflect each other
Quick to process
Slow to act
Full of ideas
Shy on follow up.
We settle
And we plan
And we move towards
The next thing
That fills the unfillable.

Seductive mirror
Shining each other’s image
Too often
Neglecting our own.
We know life is simpler than we make it
More complex than we wish it.
And in her arms
I feel my own heart beating.

iii.
Watching your affection for each other
Revealing itself
Explored
Expressed
In little hugs
Elbow kisses
Magnetic touches
Your happiness
Sweetness
Dare I say romantic side?
Turning me on
As always
That I so desire to sidle up to
The both of you
Our legs crossed over yours
A simple hand on your hip.
You
Surrounded by hope
Nothing overt
Just contact
Touching unspoken love
Showing you both
How being a special part of your lives
Makes some kind of sacred sense
So deeply felt
Though present moment’s tenuous confusion
Finds so little
Space
For those feelings
To land.
Odd man out.

iv.
With you in my bed
Radiant face smiling up at me
In candlelight glow
Glad to be back under the weight of me
Glad to be back clutching the breath of you
I am welcomed home
Into the longed for arms
The soul of a fragile woman
Stronger than the elements
Brighter than the sun
Moth man, me
Drawn to a flame
Flickering
For someone else.
I dig your heat
Angel.
From wherever
I am.
Odd man in.



~For Molly 7/10-13/08, BIG BEAR CITY