Essence

Look at the sky.
The clouds are our actions, our thoughts
Sometimes white filled with sunlight,
sometimes black and ominous, holding rain
But they are momentary
Fleeting.
The sky always is.
The sky is our being, our essence.
Look through the clouds
See the sky. 

~  September 17, 2006. After having attended Connie Irving's memorial service and having an emotionally transcendent moment, I went to lunch with friends and talked about how she touched us all. When I went outside I stopped in my tracks and looked at the sky and went home and immediately wrote down the poem above. I sat in my living room and randomly opened a brand new book on Buddhism by Osho and found three sentences that paraphrased almost verbatim what I proffered in the lines above. A day of epiphany. This poem first published 9/17/06 in my blog on MySpace.com/v32unes

MY EARLIEST PUBLISHED POETRY: from ESSENCE OF DRAGON WINGS

In August of 1978, I had three poems published in a poetry zine put out by a handful of SDSU poetry department students and teachers. My friend Mary Jacob was involved and Stan Sewitch another friend of Mary and mine did some illustrations if I recollect. The following three poems show my earliest stabs at thinking I could try this. I'd had a great poetry course recently with the marvelous central California poet, Gary Soto. It would be years before I found what he called "my emerging voice" but his encouragement as well as that of Carolyn Forche who was also teaching at State helped me at least be comfortable enough to show them around a bit.


What I like about them now, even in their struggle to be "poetic", I was able to grab three distinct moments from my life and write about them with separate structural ideas while still trying to reflect the way I heard myself speaking. Baby steps.



THEY LOOK LIKE TWINS IN THE DARK

Lit by burning wax thru ferns and plate glass
Skin against warm skin
Lava on rock
Hips moving against each other.
The record sings, "Open your eyes, you can fly!"

They listen with armies of moths
Fluttering under their skin.
The dreams, like flames thru dry ice,
Surround them in candlelight about the walls.

Someone watches from the window
As the moon slips behind a cloud.

-- for Dusty, Ocean Beach, February, 1977
first published in Essence Of Dragon's Wings, Vol. 2, No. 1, 1978

THE WORM

There's a religious fanatic
On Channel 10
And three drunks doing somersaults
In the living room;
One without his upper plate
And the other two munching down
Week-old chow mein.

And I'm in here
Halfway between drunken despair
And Forks, Washington.
Lying in bed
I try to find a comfortable spot
To leave both my feelings and my hangover.
No lightning between my toes.
No passionate clinches in dark hallways.
No laughter from behind the bathroom door.

Damned exotic fruit drinks:
Every time somebody turns on the blender the TV zaps out.
I never remember drinking the worm
But it always crawls up my throat
In the middle of breakfast.

-- Ocean Beach, December 1976
first published in Essence Of Dragon's Wings, Vol. 2, No. 1, 1978

UNHEALTHY

A year ago today
you told me to get my
tooth fixed
one day later
we had lunch
in front of a swing band
I haven't seen you since.



-- for Papa, San Diego, November 1977
first published in Essence Of Dragon's Wings, Vol. 2, No. 1, 1978