Graphic Art

Where did she come from?
Out of some ether
Some chemical solution
From a stone ground image
A tanned, golden-hooped memory,
From a past brimmed with conflicting emotion
Lost chances
Grabbed and misguided solutions.
Years gone by
Loves, life and time showing its hand.

We met, back then,
at her instigation
In spite of my usual hesitation
And we laughed and talked and held on tightly
If for such a delectable though fleeting moment
and she ran her hand thru my hair
She told me that I was passion incarnate
Not using that last word specifically
But in my nostalgia thru the years
It has had a nice ring to it.

The important fact is that the word that proceeded it
Was all hers as it rang in my ears for over a quarter of a century.

Are we that much closer to death?
Indeed, and she has never looked better
All mom's good genes
In those denims of her own
Strutting confidence and vulnerability
The latter just hinted at, perhaps for fun
She seems imbued with so much of the former.

Secure in her beauty
Her world
Her laughter ringing out over plates
Of spicy Thai fare
Her eyes dimming the beauty of the usual phalanx
Of Asian lookers
And her mane, a luxurious net casting about
Pulling in glances of our persistent busboys
Every one sneaking frequent peeks
Ready to please
And me?
I have her attention for this glorious moment
This dear friend
Long lost but never far from my memory
My short, sweet litany of those who mattered
Who somehow found it in their grace and power
To love me.
Faulty, fallible, fumbling, foolish me.
And like a handful of others
Her mirrored glances,
Caring touches
Soft kisses
Perfect words
Filled me with a glimmer of reflection
Of someone I could strive to be
Someone
Worthy of their affections.

Feels good.
Finally. At home in my own skin.

~ for SV, Big Bear City, 12/4/06
First published in my blog on MySpace.com/v32unes

Poem For Three Friends

REASONS

I'm going to the funeral of a woman that I barely knew
Because I believe she was kind to people.
I believe she was a generous spirit
And a giving soul.
So many people I know say the same.

I go because of her smile and laughter
Brightened my day whenever we met
Because her husband, quick with a pun,
Long on fun and good vibes
Always made me feel comfortable
Whenever I was in his sphere.
I believe that part of what makes us human
Able to live with the vicissitudes of this finite life
Is the sharing of our grief
The absorption of each others pain
To help us all lessen the hurt.
A gift of compassion.

I go to her funeral to say goodbye
To praise her life
Send her on her peaceful journey.
Later I will sing songs of joy and sadness
Meditate on transcendence
And living a life of purpose
In the face of the impermanence of time
In the face of all that makes this path
An uphill climb.

I go to her funeral
To share and accept the pain of those I love
Those who loved and will miss her dearly
My good friends, acquaintances,
Familiar faces, estranged lovers,
All of who traveled our wide circle.

I go to hold you all close
To reach out and into our aching hearts
Our need to know things we will never know
Our need to feel connected
To something larger than ourselves.

And I go for you
To bear witness to an important transition
In your life
Not just for the departed,
Her dear husband, children, friends and family
But for you,
The woman I have loved so dearly
Who shared dreams and brief moments
Filled with so much hope
And though we are at a point
In our long friendship
Where patience, understanding,
And closeness are at their most precarious
I feel your pain at this magnanimous loss
That is so close to your heart
This person we say farewell to today
That has been such a force in your life.

And though I had known them
Only peripherally
For years
Dancing around bars, bandstands, and living rooms
What I loved so much was seeing you through their loving eyes.
I admired your dedication to each other
And it helped me to know you better
To love you all more.
What I remember most about her is that
You seemed to always be reintroducing us,
Again and again, to our amusement.
"Do you know Connie?" you'd say,
And we'd laugh
As one of us would always hug the other
And say, "Of course,"
"Absolutely."
We'd smile, feeling a part of your world
A beautiful, warm circle of friends.

I loved that I always knew that no matter
What happened between you and I
That you would always have friends like them
To see you through the hard times
To be there when you needed them most.
I love them for helping me know your heart better
And you for allowing me the joy and pleasure
Of their smiling, joyous company.

~ for Leslie, Connie and Gary, 9/16/06 

First published on my MySpace.com blog