TRANSFORMER

Lou Reed looks down, youthful freckled complexion
Beneath blond curls
From between the two beds
No sign of heroin chic
Just youth
Rock n roll unguarded between arrogance and grace
And while she freshened up after an evening out
Dining deliciously on erotically exotic drinks
Sexy fish and saucy sides
I pulled a floor to ceiling mirror
Away from the wall
Dragging it across the room
To snuggle it into the crack between the bed and the wall
Checking the angle for optimum exposure
Our sensual doppelgangers
To rise from the crisp white sheets
As if another couple
We seeing us just in reach
Our excitement daring them to reach out and grab a handful
Something illicitly taboo.

-- Hollywood, 3/31/08 – Roosevelt Hotel, Room 612 – for Sandy

ODD MAN IN/OUT

i.
The gentlest of souls
Simple yet complex
Spontaneous choices
Based on practiced self-trust —
To want someone else’s happiness
More than your own
Is dangerous stuff
A slippery trail
To an illusively rewarding summit.
Finally reaching the peak
the view from the top
Can be cloud covered
Socked in
So one must contemplate...
Turn back
Descend...
Sit still
And wait...
In the best
of all worlds
What will be seen,
Invigorating
And disconcerting
Mesmerizing
And polarizing,
May at minimum
Remind us of only
What we have given up
On the climb.
The passing time
Those left behind
The pain in your legs
Spine
Feet
Soul
Reminders of what remains:
The sky
Behind the clouds.

ii.
And sometimes
I want to cry at the sight
Of her
But my smile
Squenches my eyes up
Too tightly to let the tears flow.
Just me.
That infamous
“walking contradiction
partly fact
partly fiction.”
Being me.
Basket case happy
Backpack full of sad.

She reflects me.
We reflect each other
Quick to process
Slow to act
Full of ideas
Shy on follow up.
We settle
And we plan
And we move towards
The next thing
That fills the unfillable.

Seductive mirror
Shining each other’s image
Too often
Neglecting our own.
We know life is simpler than we make it
More complex than we wish it.
And in her arms
I feel my own heart beating.

iii.
Watching your affection for each other
Revealing itself
Explored
Expressed
In little hugs
Elbow kisses
Magnetic touches
Your happiness
Sweetness
Dare I say romantic side?
Turning me on
As always
That I so desire to sidle up to
The both of you
Our legs crossed over yours
A simple hand on your hip.
You
Surrounded by hope
Nothing overt
Just contact
Touching unspoken love
Showing you both
How being a special part of your lives
Makes some kind of sacred sense
So deeply felt
Though present moment’s tenuous confusion
Finds so little
Space
For those feelings
To land.
Odd man out.

iv.
With you in my bed
Radiant face smiling up at me
In candlelight glow
Glad to be back under the weight of me
Glad to be back clutching the breath of you
I am welcomed home
Into the longed for arms
The soul of a fragile woman
Stronger than the elements
Brighter than the sun
Moth man, me
Drawn to a flame
Flickering
For someone else.
I dig your heat
Angel.
From wherever
I am.
Odd man in.



~For Molly 7/10-13/08, BIG BEAR CITY

Mirrors

I.
Now
you are me
jealousy beckons me
forward
toward the strength
of your fragile ego
the embrace
of your outstretched friendship
the cool,
fragrant,
musky scent
of your love for her.

She
the catalyst
the muse
passionate vehicle
coincidentally
exposing my buried self-confidence
bruising my ticking clock
like a mirror
of when I was you.

(When
I became
one
with the wildcat
of my inner
reverberating
restlessness...
When
the world's mystery and newness,
apocalyptic tumbling
head
over ass
-kissing
heels
dealt a daily blow
to what I considered reality...
When
I was convinced the world was my canvas
that my SPIRIT
my eyes
my liberal soul
would chase down the devil's dragons
beat them into fiery oblivion
with passion
grace
and beautiful
caring Heart.

My fingertips touched
everything --
new...)


II.

to drink wine
on a marble statue of some
pioneering immigrant
who made the wild
wilderness of San Francisco
tame
for legions of thrill-seeking
maverick
mind-rovers
for all times to come.

I sat
with one of few angels
who have graced my intellect,
my battered soul
my racing heart
with instant
no
holds
barred
timeless understanding.

We drank
We cried
We drank
watched twinkling ships
turn to stars
dotting the pre-fog horizon
touched each other's skin
with laughing breath
drying the tears
with dreams.

I'd go away and scribble down
inane
though heartfelt
mirrors of my tortured love
of my naive fears
of open,
thrilled eyes

when I was you.

-- 6/20/96 fat rick's
for nicky galasso